How to Write an About page:

Step 1: Say something about your blog. Is your blog about foot-binding? If so, say so. This is your chance to attract readers. Readers like bright shiny objects so try to to dangle some on your about page.

Step 2: Identify yourself a bit, but use little to no nudity. Many people–especially Americans–are uncomfortable with nudity. It makes them giggle. Do you have kids? Let readers know if they are the human or goat kind. It will bring you closer.

Step 3: Include contact information. Expect soliticians for genetic materials. You can choose to accept or ignore.

Step 4: Watch the money start pouring in.


How to Submit to The Official How To Blog:

So you want to write for this award-winning blog known for its officialness? Congratulations to you. Follow these simple steps:

Step 1: Email The Official How To Blog at theofficialhowtoblog@gmail.com

Step 2: Flatter the creator of TOHTB in the email. Some suggestions: “You are so smart” “Is it hard to be so brilliant?” “Your how-to advice on folding fitted sheets changed my life,” etc.

Step 3: State what you would like to write about. Make sure it’s a how-to post. Simply stating “I want to write about the Harlem Shake” is not efficient. Instead state “I want to write How To Know The World is Over with a focus on the Harlem Shake.”

Step 4: Watch the money start pouring in.*

*There will be no money. If you know how to make money from blogging, please contact me immediately.

57 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: The Momobile: Mini-bar Comes Standard | WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion

  2. Thank you! It was hilarious. Especially I liked the sentence: Watch the money start pouring in. πŸ™‚ By the way, when you’ll discover how to make money from blogging pass me a word, too πŸ˜€

  3. Pingback: Week in Review | WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion

  4. How to stay up past your bed time:
    – discover “The Official How to Blog” blog and keep reading unaware that you’ve spent an hour just appreciating how to peel a banana

    Loving your blog, but I think I should only read it in the mornings.
    – Christy

  5. Pingback: Beyond Self-Promotion: Some Whys and Hows of Guest Blogging | The Waiting

  6. Lovely! I especially liked the hint about the nude pictures. Working on those as I type (trying different types of “sexy face”). Thanks a lot!

    P.S.: Have you received any valuable information about how to make money writing a blog?????????????

  7. Pingback: Newsflash #16 – Guess who has a guest post! | Ah dad...

  8. Love this! One question for you…do you happen to write the how-to manuals for Saudi employees? Having recently relocated to Khobar, SA from Houston, Texas, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for how things are done here and all I can do is sit back, laugh, and try to enjoy the next few years that I’m here. I’m sure your blog will help me keep my sense of humor about things!

  9. Hilarity abounds πŸ™‚ Sorry, don’t know how to make money from blogging, but I hear there are a couple of power bloggers out there who do. Will give them a shout πŸ˜‰

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