How to Write an About page:
Step 1: Say something about your blog. Is your blog about foot-binding? If so, say so. This is your chance to attract readers. Readers like bright shiny objects so try to to dangle some on your about page.
Step 2: Identify yourself a bit, but use little to no nudity. Many people–especially Americans–are uncomfortable with nudity. It makes them giggle. Do you have kids? Let readers know if they are the human or goat kind. It will bring you closer.
Step 3: Include contact information. Expect soliticians for genetic materials. You can choose to accept or ignore.
Step 4: Watch the money start pouring in.
How to Submit to The Official How To Blog:
So you want to write for this award-winning blog known for its officialness? Congratulations to you. Follow these simple steps:
Step 1: Email The Official How To Blog at email@example.com
Step 2: Flatter the creator of TOHTB in the email. Some suggestions: “You are so smart” “Is it hard to be so brilliant?” “Your how-to advice on folding fitted sheets changed my life,” etc.
Step 3: State what you would like to write about. Make sure it’s a how-to post. Simply stating “I want to write about the Harlem Shake” is not efficient. Instead state “I want to write How To Know The World is Over with a focus on the Harlem Shake.”
Step 4: Watch the money start pouring in.*
*There will be no money. If you know how to make money from blogging, please contact me immediately.
Thank you. I followed the advice on how to write an about page.
Genius!!!!!!!! Love this blog idea!!
I’m all about knowledge. Whether it is actually helpful or accurate knowledge is a whole other story.
Thank you! I’m sorry that most of the information on this blog is actually unhelpful.
Ooooo…. Can I be a guest blogger? But first, I need to continuously re-read your oh-so-very-complicated 4 step program of submission. Love the blog 🙂
The flattery is the big one. I have a very delicate ego.
Brilliant…mmmm. Genius….mmmmm. Though I do think you have hit the nail on the head.So congats on that. Best wishes.
Thank you. You could continue with the praise like…you have nice calves and your eyes are a beautiful shade of mud-dung brown.
Hey thats me you’re talking about, praise indeed. Best.
** money pouring in **….any second now…:)
I’m just wondering how it works. Does the money pour out of the computer keyboard somewhere?
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It is my pleasure to inform you that you’ve been nominated for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award!
Have a look at this page to see the rules of participation: http://momusnews.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/a-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Thanks for being inspiring!
Thank you for the inspiration accolades. Are you sure you’ve read the posts on this site? Because they’re kind of unhelpful…
Ah, but they are cleverly written, unhelpful posts. That’s inspiring.
Thank you! It was hilarious. Especially I liked the sentence: Watch the money start pouring in. 🙂 By the way, when you’ll discover how to make money from blogging pass me a word, too 😀
I once found a dime on the floor after I wrote a post so I’m thinking that is how the money is made.
Well, I see:) So, if I posted two pieces today that means twice as much money. O-la-laa! I’ll be rich soon:D
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this is hilarious!!! i am gonna buy a thesaurus first thing tomorrow and use some really flattering adjectives!! 🙂 can’t stop laughing 🙂
Excellent – I have been wondering if you will be posting about how to fit a camel through the eye of a needle, I’ve always wanted to know how to do that.
I will work on my how to peel a banana this week. Tell Hugo hello. Muah.
Could it be ready for publication on the 18th?
Wonderful. Really love this About page. One of my faves
Step one: Thank the commentator for commenting.
Step two: reply with gratitude and perhaps an emoticon or seven (I don’t know seven)
Crap! I just wrote a “how to” on my own blog and didn’t even think about submitting it here, which is ridiculous, because I LOVE THIS FRICKING BLOG!
Either way, here’s the link to my how to blog that could have been here, had I flattered the owners enough. But for reals, you guys know I love you!
You are always welcome to write a how-to for this how-to blog anytime.
LOVE IT! I will see what I can come up with. I seriously love your blog. It’s positively hilarious and so unique.
How to stay up past your bed time:
– discover “The Official How to Blog” blog and keep reading unaware that you’ve spent an hour just appreciating how to peel a banana
Loving your blog, but I think I should only read it in the mornings.
Thank you. This is much sweeter to hear than “How to fall asleep quickly by reading this blog”
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I am a Canadian who is about to retire in Progreso, Mexico. I am enjoying your blog very much and have therefore awarded you the Most Inspiring Blogger Award. Check out my latest post here http://luluandthemoon.wordpress.com to learn more about your award.
So here is how to spend the next hour, write a reply as I nominated you for a Liebster award, great blog. check it out here: http://wp.me/p33zcs-1lF
Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award http://best3ofeverything.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/best-three-of-everything-nomiated-for-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Hey there, I nominate you as one of the recipients for Sunshine Award. Thank you for sharing the awesome posts of how-to that never fail to bring smile to my face. Always looking forward to your upcoming posts! 😀 http://aboutgivingandreceiving.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/a-sunshine-award/
You make me laugh. I like that. So I nominated you for The Super Sweet Blogger Award, because you truly do rock. You’re a favorite source for laughter, fun how-to’s and NOT to’s, here’s your nominee.
*Comment being left in place of pingback because at 3 am, I couldn’t figure it out..I’ll get there. Maybe.
I have nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I love your posts, and I hope you will accept this gesture from my end. My follow-up post is http://awarmplacewithin.wordpress.com/2013/06/07/award/.
Have a lovely rest of your day!
Hey! I nominated YOU for the “One Lovely Blog” Award! Check it out!
Please see above comments regarding my feelings about this blog!
If I can find the time, I’ll be here. Promise.
I’ve nominated you for the versatile blogger award! Feel free to take it or leave it. The instructions are here… http://coatechnophile.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/versatile-blogger-award-dah/
I guess because your posts are versatile?! 😛
I love it! It’s so unique and creative; I am envious.
Lovely! I especially liked the hint about the nude pictures. Working on those as I type (trying different types of “sexy face”). Thanks a lot!
P.S.: Have you received any valuable information about how to make money writing a blog?????????????
You are so smart! Is it hard to be this brilliant?! But no really I mean that. I just came across your blog last week and I’ve decided to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award, not that you need any help gaining followers, but I linked to you so my readers could discover your blog. Do with it what you want. Stay awesome!
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LOVE your blog, its utterly brilliant. Sending a frisbee of high-5’s your way.
Your newest follower x
This is great, I am going to have to write a how-to for this blog soon! Any requests?
Love this! One question for you…do you happen to write the how-to manuals for Saudi employees? Having recently relocated to Khobar, SA from Houston, Texas, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for how things are done here and all I can do is sit back, laugh, and try to enjoy the next few years that I’m here. I’m sure your blog will help me keep my sense of humor about things!
So I’m joining the scene a bit late but what a brilliant little blog to have fallen over on my first venture into it. Loved it. Loved the writing style 🙂
I nominated your blog for the Shine On Award. I truly enjoy your posts! Read more about the award here
hahaha! Just came across your blog and really enjoying it 🙂 Have you received any information on How to make money from blogging? 😛
Hilarity abounds 🙂 Sorry, don’t know how to make money from blogging, but I hear there are a couple of power bloggers out there who do. Will give them a shout 😉