How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

This may seem like an insurmountable feat along the same lines as making a soufflé or listening to someone talk sincerely about Kimye’s relationship. But it can be done, if you follow these official how-to steps.

Step 1: Begin with a fitted sheet. This may seem obvious, but many times the act of folding a fitted sheet is derailed because one is actually trying to fold a McFish Bite™.

Step 2: Take the two lower corners and bring them together. Don’t be discouraged by the fact that fitted sheets do not have corners. It should look like this:

lowercorner

Step 3 : Then take the two upper corners and mash them around a bit. It should look like this:

uppercorners

Step 4: Kick at it for a little bit. Let it know who’s the boss. Tony Danza obvs.

footkicking

Step 5: Okay so that didn’t work. Punch a wall. Seriously. It will make you feel better. Now start over.

Step 6: This time fold one upper corner and one lower corner. How do you know which one is which? That is a really good question.

Step 7: Just keep folding until it looks less like a mushroom cap and more like a wrinkled pantsuit.

secondattempt

Step 8: Flatten it with a heavy book.

book

Step 9: Remove the book.

Step 10: Stuff the wadded mess underneath a pile of other sheets in the deep recesses of your closet.

Ta-da.

Ta-da.

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54 thoughts on “How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

  1. Pingback: Shameless7 Speaker7 Plug7 | Speaker7

  2. You’re supposed to fold them?

    I have one set of sheets for each bed. I wash them before changing the beds just so that I do not have to fold them. When anyone pukes we buy new mattresses.

  3. Speaker7,
    With these instructions, and Byronic Man’s video on the same topic posted a few months ago, I have no reason to not let my kids do it for me, as I will never, ever succeed at doing it right…
    Le Clown

  4. This is genius. If I’d known this I would have saved myself literally years of agony. One thing though – I don’t own David Copperfield – is this compulsory in the flattening process, or can I use any hefty tome of Victorian classic literary merit?

  5. Is it just me, or did the sheet just magically fold itself into an acceptable phase of completion considering it’s progress at the end? If you accomplished the result with those steps, then you are truely a master.

    • No, the regular sheet is the folded one. The fitted sheet is hidden underneath it. It’s total subterfuge just like all of Martha Stewart’s creations.

  6. OH COME ON!

    Also, that is like one of my pet peeves. I would throw away all the mother-****ing fitted sheets if they weren’t so AWESOME when finally on the bed. Eh.

  7. My husband has the genius idea that if you always just use one sheet set and wash it and put it right back on, you will never, ever have to fold a fitted sheet. Okay, I know, it’s a pretty out-there concept to embrace, but I believe he is changing lives.

      • Compilations! I totally forgot about those. I’m going to route through my kids bookcases now and see if they have any. Laundry is on and I know I have to tackle the fitted beast soon enough.

  8. Pingback: I Call Shenanigans!!! | Angst

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